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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

computer humor : Bill Gates and Microsoft

Bill Gates goes to heaven and God said to him:
- You have done a good job my son, just sit on my right.- First, I'm not your son and what do you do sit in my place?


What is the difference between Bill Gates and God ... ?
God does not take himself to Bill Gates ...


What is the difference between a blonde and a computer?
- In a computer at once we can enter the data ..


How many Microsoft technicians are required to change a burned light bulb ?
No, they will declare darkness as a new standard.


What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?
One is a park where billionaires big monsters eat up everything in their way. The other
is a film ...

Monday, August 29, 2011

one liner jokes

The cook keeps the silly Chew.

do not cut the noodles with secateurs.

The Emir of Kuwait was forced to kiss the hands of Saddam.

Bernard Tapie is not always well but he knows about Foot.

My legs are concrete: I chatted up all night.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Women Jokes : jokes about women

The only one who can have the last word with a woman ... is the echo!

Three women discuss their respective adulterers in the compartment of a train:
The first- No, I can not conceal the whole truth, I would tell everything to my husband.The second:
- What courage!
The third:
- What a memory!

What is the animal that takes more than 500 kg in one night?
Woman!
In the evening, her husband said, "Good night, honey" ...
And the next morning, he said, "Go up, fat cow" ...

Friday, August 26, 2011

couple jokes

What is the difference between a belt and tie?
The belt is used to hold the pants and tie indicates the direction of the playground

What is long and hard, that men and women have not?
- (but not, it's not what you think, you rascals!)This is the military service!

Why do women often wash the head in the sink?
Because that is in there washed vegetables!

The female ... a man on the sofa?
Answer: A woman in the kitchen.

Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
Answer: Because they have the trembling hand ...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Blonde Jokes

Do you know why blondes have blue eyes?
Because they have a head full of water.

How to know if a blonde has made chocolate chip cookies?
There are small pieces of smarties in the trash.

Do you know how to drown a blonde?
Put a mirror in the bottom of a pool

If a blonde and a brunette fell of a building which will touch the ground first?
Answer: The brunette because the blonde will to stop to ask directions.

How do they blond to kill a bird?
They throw down a cliff ...

Friday, August 19, 2011

Short One Line Humorous Quotes

The caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the pig becomes sausage is a great law of nature.

Man is the only animal that is on his sleep time to breed

When the man had invented the saddle, he realized that the biggest had to do: catch the horse.

It seems that the crisis makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. I do not see how it is a crisis. Since I was little, that's how.

the need to despise money, especially small change.

I never drink. Unless some other pays.

We judge a man of invoices it receives.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Humorous Questions : riddles jokes

What is the difference between a police and a packet of laundry?
Answer: A box of washing powder always contains at least three active agents.

What is the difference between a 69 and a Swiss cottage?
Answer: the view.

What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year when you arrive from works the dog will be still excited to see you.

What is the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
The Taste!

What is the common point between a teacher who is retiring and a tampax?
They come out every two faculty ...

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Humorous Love Quotes : one line jokes

Love is like chemistry, it takes two bodies to have an allergic reaction.

Making love to his wife is like a sleeping duck shoot.

If I use the hands, it is because love is blind.

Never make love on Saturday night, because when it rains on Sunday, you will not know what to do

Her kisses left something to be desired ... his whole body.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Short Jokes

You know the story of Splash coffee?
He is a man who returns to coffee and coffee splash.


You know the story of Scrounch the car?
It's an elephant crossing the road slowly. And then there is a passing car ...


What is a bat with a wig?
Ben, a mouse!

What is a Smurf when he falls?
Blue!

What does Ruth Dreyfus with his old clothes ...
Answer: She wears them.

How do we define the work of a gynecologist?
Well, that's a gentleman who works where others have fun!